A Journey from A Wife to A Mother
Matrescence;
You married your love to spend your whole life with him and promised to spend every moment together. Everything is going like a fairytale, but things will start changing. This change will bring many mood swings to you, and you will feel like you are losing yourself.
Being pregnant will bring you back to the puberty days. Your hormones are going nuts, your skin and hair are not behaving the way you like it.
Materscence is the transition a woman goes through to become motherhood. What a woman is going through this transition cannot be described in words until you experience this roller coaster journey of being a mum yourself.
During this transition, a woman goes through a physical, psychological, personal, and emotional change, but all these pains will reward her. This mixed feeling of happiness and worrying gets over you after getting a positive pregnancy test result or after the first kick from your baby.
As there is a saying that, every happiness comes after pain. This line describes matrescence very well. No matter whatever a woman suffers during those nine months, once she holds her baby in her hands, every suffering goes invisible.
Matrescence and Adolescence are similar transitions that, as a result, make a girl healthier, happier, and mature more than before. You may don’t like the journey, but in the end, you will be rewarded with the best, and that is what helps you to survive these hurdles.
The whole process of pregnancy and then giving birth is thought of as the beginning of matrescence, while it continues afterward for a long time. However, in simple words, matrescence is a socially, biologically, and hormonally driven change that brings a new phase of life and unique identity to a woman.
Although the term ‘Matrescence’ is not very popular among people, in this article, you will read many things about this transition that you will go through or are already experiencing.
Getting To Know Your New Identity As A Mother
Motherhood brings a significant shift in the identity of a woman. For example, before conceiving a baby, you were going to your job six days a week and giving your best to your busy career, but after baby, you will be so bound to your house and baby works that it will become tough to manage going work.
When you were a teenager, you went out with your husband and friends, ate, slept, and roamed as you pleased. That experience wouldn’t be the same after childbirth. So you have to manage your routine according to your baby’s sleep pattern.
Identity crisis occurs to every new mum, but it may take different times to appear, and to adjust to motherhood, you need to give a lot of attention, patience, and time. Being a mum is an overwhelming feeling, a flurry of mixed emotions, where it gives you happiness and brings many scary feelings.
Here are some tips to help you emerge a more focused version of yourself as a mum.
- Embrace the change
Life changes constantly, and accepting them is vital for moving forward. Being a mum, you should accept motherhood wholeheartedly. Look at this change in your life as an exciting opportunity and give some time to think about who you want to become in this next phase of your life.
- Do not be stubborn
About your life path, it is easy to feel stubborn. You had a concrete life goal of what you wanted in your life, but this new phase has led you in a completely different direction. However, you should learn one thing from your newborn, i.e.; flexibility makes things easier.
- Focus on one thing at a time
Do not get in a hurry to find the new you all at once. When a baby enters your life, many areas of your life get affected, your relationships with your partner, family, and friends, your career goal, your inner and outer confidence, your styles. Focus on one task that needs to be accomplished first and take your time. This will allow you to stepwise restore everything to normal.
- Embrace the new you
You have now reached the new phase of “motherhood”. Now is the time to sort out what makes you feel uncomfortable. How will you manage things to communicate with your partner? Which friendships are now of no need in your new life? How to bring back your swag like before? Instead of mourning over these changes, use your energy to fuel your journey forward.
- Understand every new mum goes through it
You will get inspired by the organized and well-maintained mums on social media. They’re not. Everything that looks perfect from the front is not the same behind. Even if these women have achieved that phase, it costs them a lot of dedication and introspection. Bring that grace in your personality and manage things accordingly.
You are not the only one going through it, and every single new mum has to pass this identity crisis phase. It is up to you how you balance things without overburdening yourself.
Importance of Embracing Motherhood
Being a mum is a true blessing, but sometimes you will not feel like it. No matter in which phase of matrescence you, there will always be difficult times. But every mother needs to learn to embrace motherhood and not focus on struggles and hardships they face.
The journey that starts from the time you are expecting your child never ends. You are not just raising a child for some years and then stop being a mum. It is a lifetime duty, and Instead, once a mom is always a mom.
Difficulties of being a mother start from the pregnancy. Although every woman does not face all the difficult moments, each mother handles bodily changes. For example, morning sickness, sciatic pain, or loss of sleep, motherhood has unique difficulties.
During nine months, the kicking of your baby inside you, movements of your baby in the womb, and the baby’s hiccups that shake your entire body inside out will give you a feeling of butterflies. But, once you carry your child in your arms, you will miss these moments.
Infancy time of your baby will give you many sleepless nights, and the number of diapers you change in a day will not make your home sound clean like before. But later, when your baby is all grown up, you will miss that time and realize just how amazing it was.
Mothers of toddlers are busy sunup to sundown. This exploring phase makes them into every cranny, nook, and cupboard that they can put their fingers into. They are picky eaters, and mothers have to try different meals to feed them. You have to sleep in a messy house throughout their toddler years.
You will miss each moment when your child is a grown-up. Difficult times during their parenting may give you a lot of pain and suffering, but you will miss these moments. So why not embrace these moments with your whole heart and enjoy each moment now.
Mental Health Implications Of Being A Mum
Matrescence brings postpartum depression with it. Postpartum depression is the anxiety and depression that happens during and after pregnancy. In addition, new mothers can experience anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Primarily postpartum depression covers the depression after the baby is born. The first year of the baby brings many changes to the physical and mental health of the mother that significantly affect them.
The early mommy baby bond is significant for a baby’s development. In addition, it may affect your bond with other children and family members at home. A depressed mother may fail to develop the bond that they need with their newborn. Early treatment is required at this time for you, your child, and your other family members. So it would be best if you sorted out this condition as soon as possible to start to feel better.
Your bodily changes are one of the causes of your depression. For example, stretch marks and a bulging belly after delivering your baby will make you depressed whenever you look at yourself in the mirror. You will miss your toned body, and you’ll be in a hurry to get back to that body again.
These things will recover as time passes by. It would be best if you were consistent and motivated. You will make it like before if you stay positive. A counseling session with a mental health provider helps many women to find ways to manage the feelings that help ease their anxiety and depression.
Verdict
To all new moms and moms-to-be, you are doing very well. You are doing your best for your child. But, things need to be managed in this way. All the perfect moms you see on social platforms have the same struggles that you are going through. The thing is that they have gone through it, and you are going through it now.
